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Serenity Blogspot

The Quest For Eden

Make it all worthwhile. All of it. Life, the good, the bad, the time spent waiting in line, as life is merely one long wait in line. Make it all an experience to learn from and grow from. There isn't a more challenging game to play then the game of life itself. I already blogged about how to play it. Now as I am faced with not-so-new and more challenging obstacles, I am reminded of my power and who I am. What I am capable of and the path I walk, which is unraveling faster than my next step.

There are no accidents. Only purpose. Today and right as I type this, I am nothing more than a shell with a suppressed voice screaming from the inside outward, in complete silence. But I see it and I get it. I know what it's like to raise my vibration to a level so high that I can no longer relate to the world below the clouds. I couldn't see what couldn't see me, until I allowed myself to dip down a little and then a lot.

The pull downward becomes stronger the more I loosen my reigns of heightened consciousness. Leaving me to struggle to regain the power to rise above again. Sometimes the grip of the energy vampires can feel too defeating. I am learning to not expect others to be anything other than who they are. Don't assume every vegan is compassionate. Don't assume that someone's Instagram image is who they are. More often then not, it's who they aren't.

The lessons that hit the hardest are learned in the darkest of times. I can't see the light when I'm submersed in light, I can only enjoy reveling in it. It's when I'm submersed in darkness that I can see the light shining in the distance, sometimes seeming unreachable. It's the shadows that I face along the way that are where the lessons really show themselves. The demons are always lurking around in the darkness. Awaiting my arrival and my demise. Unfortunately for them, I have already crossed over. I have already experienced a different kind of understanding. I am a sleep-walking awakened soul. Teetering between worlds, finding my purpose, shedding my skin and losing my mind, all while creating the exact world I choose to play this role in.

I have watched my self play myself. I have watched knowing what my choices would lead to and even inadvertently manifested their exact outcome. There is nothing in life we can outrun. No step we can overlook without being faced with it again and again, until we look it in the eye and take it on as if every reward depends on it, because it does. It's why we're here. Not only to connect with our higher selves, but to connect with our physical selves. To utilize our strengths by re-learning what they are through life experiences.

I just need to get through the bureaucracy of the physical life right now so I can re-elevate myself to that higher state of being. I am addicted to raising my consciousness and determined to stay there.


God is not a man, nor is the devil, however the concept of both are male, as the male ideology has become synonymous with power. Not because it is so, but because we have allowed 'man' to make it so by our beliefs. We have confused masculinity with the male gender. We all possess masculine and feminine traits. Masculinity is not specific only to men. There is no separation between masculinity and femininity, as one would cease to exist without the other, therefore we all possess both traits.

God has no gender. When you think God, try to think of Creator. Think of your self as not just a creation, but an extension of the Creator. You are an extension of your own light, your own creation. You are God and the darkness is what we would otherwise depict as the devil 'him'self. The darkness that we all find ourselves lost in from time to time, struggling to get out of. The place with the vampires that drain your energy like they would your blood in their Hollywood depictions.

But when you're able to raise yourself above the dark cloud and the heavy mist of condensation from the suffering emitted from the millions trapped there; when you begin to breathe in light and exhale yesterday's pain, challenges and defeat, you will reap the rewards of life. Albeit rewards aren't always seen as rewarding at first.

I have seen the other side. Many don't know what that means, but I have been there. I have experienced it from a level that I ache to reach again. A height of awareness and an awakening so intense, that a dream state couldn't even capture it's essence. I have answers, but I don't have the answers to those answers.


Music has the power to help guide us toward everything we are. It can change not only a mood, but the course of one's own life. Why do we often listen to beautiful transcending music when we meditate? Because it vibrates at a frequency that helps soothe us into a relaxed state and helps to raise our consciousness with it's soul-full tunes. Music, much like all energy, has vibration and will align it's audiences vibration to meet it's frequency. It can lift your spirits to heights beyond reason and lower your vibration to depths below ration.

A good example of the impact music has on us, would be with regard to rap music. Rap music by definition isn't affiliated with violence, but the lyrics in many of the songs are, as they promote and glamorize guns, gangs and prostitution. They sexualize women and empower men. Often even female rap artists climb the industry ladder through either being sexualized through their image, or mimicking the male dominated approach to the music industry.

The other focus the modern day music culture as a whole seems to revolve itself around, is money. The strive for money begins with the most vibrationally low denominator one can bring themselves to. An image made solely of a brittle surface with no depth. A false state of being devalued by paper and superficially lavish lifestyles masquerading as happiness. This isn't happiness, this is sickness. This is a society lost in the gaze of their own reflection in the shiny objects that give their lives value and meaning, which has no meaning at all.

Too insulting? That's ok. I was there too. I can always get sucked back in if I'm not careful. If I let the dark seep in a little, I can just as easily let it seep in a lot. But I remember that place well. It is dark and cold. It is loneliness without being alone. The search for completion and the race to the finish line. I never wanna return.


The gates opened and I entered not realizing the garden was already being prepared for me. It was awaiting my entrance and granted me permission to stay, but not without sacrifice and hard work. There is a lot of purging that happens on this journey to Eden. It's necessary. The lighter the weight, the higher the state. Once we understand that nothing is separate from us, we can free ourselves from all attachments. We are all one. There is no space between us, only an endless flow of energy. An endless stream of light and love. One consciousness and one Creator. We, Eye, You, Me, He, She. We are all Eden. We just need to remember our own power into existence so we can get back there.


I've seen more than most could imagine seeing outside of a sci-fi movie. As privileged as I feel for the experiences, they can also feel isolating when others can't share in the same. Be careful what you wish for. Although I don't think I ever wished for it and although I am grateful for the encounters, I can't help but feel an emptiness and abandonment to some extent. I could never put into words what I have witnessed and the more time goes by, the more distant a memory it all becomes. Somewhere along the way everything stopped. They don't come around anymore. I love where I'm at, but what I would give to get back to that heightened state of being. That level of communication and those outer-worldly experiences. No words... It has changed me. I will never see the same or be the same.


I am creating every chapter of my life and now that I am aware of this and the power I possess, it has become a total mind fuck. I can see the consequences of my actions and decisions before they exist and I can even change their direction and create a new path through intentional thoughts, but not without a price that comes in the form of new challenges to face. I'm also very aware of the guidance I'm receiving from the Universe. I'm aware of the divine timing of everything in my path. But still I long to return to the state of being that had me vibrating at such a high frequency, that I almost lost touch with my 3D existence...

I would love to hear from others that are going through a similar awakening. What has your rebirth been like?

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